Outside is perfectly mild and gray. No wind, no blue sky...very un Vegas like in the spring. Inside my mood is very similar. Baby is napping and that precious hour of respite from motherhood is turning out very uneventful like the weather. The in-house to do list of never ending chores remains untouched today. Laundry needs to be folded, counters wiped and floors swept and yet I sit at the computer after a morning of discussing primary needs with my presidency and will myself some motivation to feel like I deserve that gold star on my forehead for all the amazing things I will accomplish today. But honestly, I'm exhausted. Physically exhausted! Night after night is a marathon of endurance to try and survive on whatever sleep I can get...and with colds all around, last night was pretty bad.
 I'm waiting for my mom to arrive from Utah. She is making the birthday rounds as she tries to do for all 23 of her grandkids which in addition to her everlong list of what makes her a good grandma is pretty impressive. I can't quite give my in-laws the same recommendation. There is certainly positives but I haven't gotten over the events from the past 2 years, which requires, maybe not a hate blog of its' own, but certainly an airing of grievance section. This is one of my biggest struggles right now. Them. I keep praying for help with my feelings. A softening. However, feelings of bitterness towards them continue to invade my thoughts more frequently than I care to admit and have contributed to many a sleepless nights. That is all for now and hope my Pandora station will play something to at least motivate completion of the basket of clothes crowding my hallway.